Cherishing Her: A Protector Office Romance Page 7

  “Can’t.” Her gaze fluttered, lashes whisper-soft as they batted against the crest of her cheeks. I saw her fingers tighten on the knife in her hand, the delicate pink flesh turning a nasty white from the pressure she was exerting on the blade.

  “Why not?”

  “He had me gagged. If I talk about it, I risk more fines.”

  More fines?

  What the fuck?

  For a second, my brain stuttered as I tried to process the facts, and considering I was no slowpoke in the grey matter area, that it was stuttering at all spoke of how confused I was.

  Jessica had had to pay fines?

  Like she was at fault? The guilty party?

  And yet, the way she moved, her gestures, the timidity as she looked around her environs…

  The fear and vulnerability lacing her features…

  It all spoke of one thing and one thing only.

  A woman who had been hurt.

  A woman who had been forced.

  My instincts were rarely wrong, and I knew they weren’t here. My upbringing may not have been shitty, but my apartment building as a kid sure as shit had been. I’d seen it too often, way too many times to mistake her reactions.

  So, why the fuck was she the one being fined?

  With my free hand, I rubbed at my temple.

  “You’re not making much sense, Jessica.”

  A nasty laugh escaped her. “No, I guess I’m not. But, I can’t explain. I can’t afford my repayments as it is. I really don’t need him suing me again.”

  “Why would anyone be suing you?” I whispered, then, my eyes cleared. “Eileen? Can you leave us alone for a moment, please?”

  “Sure,” came the soft reply, and I knew she’d been listening and understood why I needed the privacy.

  Once the door had closed, I whispered, “No one can hear us if we keep our voices low. Eileen will shuffle Alex and Derek into the den where Mac will be watching sports. She’ll turn the volume up to give us as much privacy as she can.” I sucked down a gulp of air. “You can talk to me, Jessica. You can trust me.”

  I watched the muscles in her throat work. “That’s what scares me, Max.”

  “What do you mean? I scare you?” I blustered, horrified by her words.

  Then, she speared me with a look.

  “I barely know you and I trust you so much already.”

  And like that, she floored me. Because this woman didn’t trust, not easily, I knew, and yet, she said she did trust me… With those sparse words, I knew why Derek was freaking out all of a sudden.

  Jessica wasn’t just any woman to me.

  The feelings she inspired in me were frenzied and frenetic. Too crazy for me to pull apart and analyze.

  I just knew I’d never felt this way before, and for it to be happening so quickly? So shortly after we’d met? I knew, to Derek especially, it would make no sense.

  But then, love didn’t make much sense, did it?

  At least, that was what I’d always read about and seen in movies my sister had forced me to watch as a kid.

  Matters of the heart were crazy and volatile and fickle.

  But, what I felt for Jessica wasn’t like that.

  It was calm and deep, and the only ‘frenzy’ came from the fact I didn’t understand the feelings where I’d always been in control of them before…

  Jessica, unaware of the epiphany I’d just gone through, gnawed at her bottom lip. “Do we have to talk about this?”

  Her voice was soft, and the quaver in it hit me hard. “Yes. We do. Anything that hurts you, hurts me.”

  Her gaze flickered my way once more. “You mean that?”

  I nodded. “I really do.”

  She swallowed. “I-I was raped.”

  “I know, sweetheart.”

  That had her eyes flaring wide. “How do you know?”

  “It’s in every move you make.”

  “I-It is?”

  I gave her another nod. “Yeah,” I told her with a deep and heavy sigh. “It’s in the shadows in your eyes, the way you hunch your shoulders when a man you don’t know comes into the office. It’s in the way you make yourself smaller in crowds and how you duck your head. When you flinch at small noises and…”

  She held up a shaky hand. “S-Stop, please, stop.”

  I let my words trail off, but I stayed silent, not willing to say anything, not wanting to scare her off from sharing the truth with me.

  A truth that was like a festering wound she had to hide.

  How long we stayed there, I wasn’t sure.

  In the back of my mind, I knew Eileen would probably be fretting over the state of her pot roast in the oven and that Alex would be complaining about his stomach—that man could eat more than even I could! But I didn’t care. The silence could go on forever if it meant she could speak about what had happened to her.

  If she could just share it with me, I knew we’d make this better. For her.

  “H-He was my boss. He was kind of high up the chain too. VP of his section.” She released a shuddery breath. “I-I’ve worked with some of the upper ranks before. You’re not the first, although, you are the highest I’ve come into contact with. But I didn’t think anything of it. Until the last week of my contract came around.

  “He’d been disinterested before, but I still felt his looks. Still knew what he was thinking when he looked at me.” She quivered and pressed her hands to her lap. I watched her fingers entwine around themselves, making a gnarly knot that I wanted to loosen up, untangle with mine, have her palm press against my own, and all so I could let her know that she wasn’t alone.

  Never, anymore, would she be alone.

  “H-He cornered me in the stationary closet just off his office of all places. He’d asked me to work late on some contracts he’d asked me to scan over, a-and I did. I didn’t think anything of it.

  “He asked me to get him some stationary, and I went. When he followed, I-I tried to get around him but I couldn’t. He was too strong.” She gulped. “A-After, I went straight to the police even though he threatened me and told me what he’d do if I did.”

  “What did he threaten you with, Jessica?”

  “He said he’d make out it was my fault, turn it all around… Make me look like I was…” She swallowed, clenched her eyes shut.

  “Make you the guilty party?”

  “Y-Yeah.”

  “And it worked?”

  Her tongue peeped out and she washed it over her bottom lip. Though I’d spent hours studying her from my office, watching that nervous gesture of hers a hundred times in less than the week we’d known one another and I’d wanted to taste her ever since that first day I’d noticed her… for the first time, I didn’t.

  My feelings for her hadn’t gone anywhere with her revelation.

  She wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t already known, save for this shit about her being at fault. Nothing, nothing could ever stain her in my eyes.

  Unable to help myself, I reached out and blanketed her hands with one of my own. Mine were so big and hers so small that I covered them easily, swamping her with my size.

  I wondered why that didn’t put her off. I was a big guy. There was no escaping that fact. And yet, she hadn’t flinched away from me, not since Giorgio’s.

  “I-It worked,” she confirmed. “He had fancy lawyers who slated my reputation. Using things from my social media accounts to make it seem like I-I was ‘loose’.” A harsh laugh escaped her. “That was the actual word they used. ‘Loose.’”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, uncertain of what to say, and what to do that wouldn’t frighten her.

  I’d been angry in my life. Several times. When my father had died, leaving my mom to raise three kids alone. When my brother had almost been killed in Iraq…

  When most people felt sadness, for some reason, I was hardwired to feel anger. Rage. It burned through me with the destruction of a wildfire, and now was no different.

  It was a sentiment th
at could only be stirred by those who were very important to me. And had I not already come to terms with the fact that Jessica, even though I barely knew her, was exactly that—special.

  I shuddered, fighting my body’s natural desire to release the tension building inside me.

  I wanted to pace. Fuck, screw that. I wanted to fight.

  I wanted to tear into the bastard who’d hurt Jessica and then had twisted it around so he looked like the innocent party.

  It took a special kind of twisted bastard to make that happen.

  My fingers naturally tightened about Jessica’s fingers, and though I didn’t think she even noticed, I did. I made a concerted effort to release the tension, not having a single desire to hurt her more than she’d already been hurt by other men.

  I released a shaky breath. “What can I do?”

  The question seemed to stir her from the stupor into which she’d fallen after having made her admission. She blinked down at the tomatoes, then turned to me with a frown. “Do?”

  I nodded. “Do. Tell me. I’ll do it.”

  I was stunned when her lips twitched, curving into a smile that took my breath away. “What like? Assassinate my attacker?”

  “If you want.”

  For a second, I knew she thought I was joking. Then she saw the severity of my features, heard the stoniness of my voice.

  “No!” she squeaked, shaking her head and rearing back from me.

  “I-I can figure out a way to…”

  Her hand snapped out to grab mine, and she squeezed my fingers in rapid pulses, as though trying to impart a message physically as well as verbally.

  “Max. Stop. That isn’t necessary.”

  “If he’s done it once, he might have done it before or do it again. No bastard like that deserves…”

  “No… No, I believe in karma,” she told me gently, and I realized then she’d turned around so she was no longer facing the tomatoes but me. Her knees had come to rest between my own—I’d spread them for balance when I crouched down beside her. With her other hand, she reached down to cup my jaw. “I only want the bad karma to go his way. Not yours.”

  I swallowed, feeling a mixture of rage and misery and hate unfurling through me.

  “You said he was a VP?”

  She nodded, but I saw her wariness.

  It didn’t hurt me, because, even though I’d made an offer I had zero idea how to follow through on, she wasn’t scared of me. If anything, my irrational suggestion seemed to have opened something up inside her. Throughout our date, her natural reserves had lowered. At first, because it was so cold outside and she’d snuggled into me as we walked into the restaurant. But after, she’d touched me, had reached out to brush my fingers, had—by the end of the meal—stopped flinching if her knees knocked mine.

  Now?

  I felt those reserves, sensed them like a wolf naturally sensed the parameters of its territory, and knew she’d lowered them and let me in.

  In her mind, I’d gone from someone who could potentially hurt her, to someone who wanted to protect her.

  I had no idea where to find a damn hitman. I was a fucking businessman, and while some might think capitalists had ‘specialists’ on speed dial, especially ones as wealthy as me, I didn’t have those kinds of contacts.

  For her, though, I would have found someone and paid highly to give her peace of mind.

  “He was a VP. He might have retired by now. And no, I’m not going to tell you his name or where he worked.” She licked her lips slowly and lowered her lashes; though I knew she was looking at me through them. “Not after your generous offer.”

  “It wasn’t generous. I hate knowing that bastard might still be roaming the streets after what he did to you.”

  “You think I don’t?” She blew out a breath, then sliding her fingers down over my wrist, along my Henley-covered forearm and up my bicep, she didn’t stop until she was cupping my cheek. The brush of those delicate digits against my throat and jaw had me closing my eyes in response.

  What this woman could do to me with the most innocent of touches…

  I felt my body stir and hated the instinctual response.

  It seemed so wrong considering our discussion, but it was just her. It was her effect on me. I couldn’t help it, couldn’t and wouldn’t stop it, but that didn’t mean to say I wouldn’t control it.

  “Let me do something.”

  The words were more of a plea than I’d have liked, especially when she shook her head.

  “There’s nothing more to do,” she murmured softly, sadly. “It’s in the past.”

  When fear and pain flashed over her face, I wanted to kill the bastard myself. With my bare hands, never mind hiring someone to do the damn job.

  But, sometimes, there were more ways to hurt a man. Ways in which I specialized—finance.

  I’d taken great pleasure last year in stripping the VPs on my own board—who’d been fired for harassment of employees—of all their bonuses. I’d found ways to ensure they received nothing from the company. It had cost me a small fortune, and was one of the reasons why Derek had met his current squeeze, Kayla, because she was a part of the team I’d taken on for that express purpose.

  When a VP is fired, they have safety measures tied into their contracts. It usually means they leave with nice golden handshakes, are safe from the reason behind their dismissal being announced to the public ensuring they can swim from their current position into the market and be scooped up by another company.

  I’d stopped that in its tracks. That cycle wouldn’t happen on my watch.

  With the law firm’s help, I’d established a means of cutting off their golden handshake and thanks to an old friend from college who’d studied journalism and had been in need of a scoop, had revealed all to her—those bastards’ reputations were permanently scarred. Exactly how they should be.

  I wanted to do the same to the motherfucker who’d hurt Jessica, but even now, she was shaking her head, taking away the one legal means of hurting him like he’d hurt her.

  “I can’t, Max. I can’t. I’ve been placed under a gagging order. If I say anything, then I get hit with more fines because he can sue the ass out from under me.”

  “I can pay them,” I told her dismissively. “That doesn’t matter.”

  For a second, she stared at me, then a smile curved her lips and though it did my heart good to see her respond that way, it was a strange smile.

  “I forgot, I’m now in a parallel universe where tens of thousands of dollars don’t mean anything.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Is that a criticism?”

  “No, just a statement.” But her voice sounded remarkably cheerful.

  I heaved out a sigh. “You know I could investigate this myself, don’t you? Look into it without even telling you? There’d be no reason for him to know you were even involved. Shit, there’d be no reason for him to know I was involved. The joys of umbrella companies.”

  She studied me again, then heaved out a shuddery breath. “You’ve no idea how tempted I am to take you up on that offer.”

  “Good,” I told her, my tone gravelly with the need to do something, anything, to fix this for her.

  Months down the line, when we were on a more even footing and she wasn’t so on edge and we were more serious, I’d take care of the debt hanging over her. Now? I couldn’t. I knew she’d refuse, and I didn’t even want to waste time arguing about it.

  I had no rights over her.

  Yet.

  But I would, and when I did, those debts would be paid and she’d be moving out of that flea hole she called home.

  I guess I had my answer as to why she was living somewhere even criminals would think twice about moving in.

  “I can’t though,” she whispered, and I felt the tension in her as she fought with her inclinations.

  It did me good to see her like that though. I could tell she wanted to do it, wanted to hit the bastard where it hurt the most—his pocket, but equally
, she didn’t want that.

  She wanted to move on with her life. And I could understand and respect that.

  “Okay,” I murmured, not willing to push her because I was going to go and handle this on my own regardless of her wishes. Maybe she knew that because she eyed me warily.

  Her mouth opened and she started to speak before she shook her head. “Thank you for being so kind.”

  Her formal words had me snorting. “Kind? I’m not kind.”

  “You were. To me. Not to him.” Her top lip curled. “And he doesn’t deserve kindness.”

  No, he deserved destruction.

  And did he but know it, I was going to rain a whole shitload of it down on the unknown bastard’s head.

  I’d enjoy it, too. Would revel in wrecking that man’s world like he’d wrecked Jessica’s.

  An eye for an eye… Though her attacker would never realize that, because I’d hide my intervention from the world’s view, I’d know it, and I’d be able to breathe better knowing it too.

  I couldn’t protect, defend, or save the woman who, all those years ago, had been hurt. But I could protect, defend, and save her memory, as well as safeguard her future.

  That would be my privilege, and my honor.

  Chapter 7

  Max

  When she laughed it was like my heart wanted to burst.

  Seriously.

  It was close to pathetic. If Derek had come to me and told me he felt this way about Kayla, I’d have snorted at him. Ribbed him so damn hard he’d have regretted sharing shit with me.

  But now? Yeah, now I understood.

  How couldn’t I?

  Just watching her in these unguarded moments made me feel like I could conquer the world, and yet, be equally as aware that the invincible way I felt around her was exactly that; because I was around her.

  I nuzzled my nose into her temple and grinned as she carried on chuckling at some stupid show we were watching. It was a Netflix show about new Australian moms and Jessica was tickled pink about it. I swear, I didn’t get it, but then maybe it was because I wasn’t a chick. She did though. She thought it was hilarious.